A Preface from the Moron Life staff:

Hi kids, it was reported in the news today that everybody's favorite wacky neighbor, Seinfeld's Kramer, played by the always lovable Michael Richards, found himself in hot water recently for some racially insensitive remarks to a heckler at an Los Angeles comedy club.  For Richards, unfortunately, this wasn't the first time he lost his cool.  As a matter a fact, it just so happens that one of our cub reporters and a stand up comedian herself, found out first hand that Cosmo can get a little cranky.

Here's our girl JBM with a little report she likes to call...

Kramer called me a Cunt!!

Doing stand up comedy in L.A. can be fun, wild and most of all entertaining. Especially when it brings you face to face with the seedy, underbelly of the comedy world.  It happened at a local comedy club in Los Angeles back in early October of this year, where I was hosting that night.  At the club, a lot of times you get the chance to work with comedy heavy weights the likes of Dave Attell, Sarah Silverman, Chris Rock, etc. Usually, it’s amazing to see these people work.  It’s unfortunate though, when you work with a professional who’s spotlight may have faded and they end up ruining a show.

As I said, I was hosting a night at a local comedy club. The booker of the show told me to introduce the next comic… So, I did and it was Michael Richards, Formely of Seinfeld and I was told not to make any references about his character Kramer, and to NOT mention Seinfeld at all. So, I introduced him and he did his act, which was a painful 20 minutes of racially charged bullshit. I was soon getting a really bad feeling.  It was that kind of feeling that you get for someone when you’re embarrassed for them.

I sat there watching, wondering what dick jokes I can do when I get up there to cover up this fiasco and after a few minutes the booker of the show comes up to me and says, “You know what, I am going to do damage control.”

She went up and got Michael off stage, and I was right by the sound booth where his tape recorder was perched (why he wanted to record this atrocity is beyond me) and all of a sudden it fell and the batteries came tumbling to my feet. I started picking them up and handing them to him. I am trying to be nice by helping him with his broken device and he starts saying that I suck.

I reply to him that it’s kind of a slow crowd tonight and all of sudden he starts calling me a Cunt and says, “You will never work in this town again.”

“I’ll make sure of that you little cunt”. You’re a cunt, cunt, cunt, dirty little cunt, on and on, and I starting thinking to myself, you know, I only accept those kinds of terms of endearment from my Dad or Grandma… not from some prick who is using his fame to be a DICK!!

So, after about 10 minutes of the “C” word barrage, I start fighting back.  Just to give you a visual the guy is 6”4 and I am about 4”11, but I couldn’t take any more. I start calling him a fucking asshole and who the fuck do you think you are type shit right back. It was one of the scariest things I have witnessed and been a part of.  

I even took a swing at him and missed horribly, but at least I tried.  Everybody in the show room saw this going on and it kind of ruined any momentum for the show.  After all this went down, some friends came over and asked me what had happened and all I could muster was, “The Dude went postal!”  

Just then, Kramer comes up again and asks, “Your telling your little friends?”

I was like, “Fuck you, they asked.”

After about an hour of him talking the manager, Kramer and I ended up talking outside.  

He asks me, “Are we Ok”?

I kind of stared at him and after a brief, what the fuck is wrong with you pause, said, “Yeah, we’re ok.”

And so ended my night with one quarter of the Seinfeld posse.  I look forward to my heated exchange with Julia Louis Dreyfuss and the bare knuckled punch out with the guy that plays George. And don’t think I aint got you in my sights Jerry.  You’re on my list. Also, the next person that says the word Cunt to me, (Dad or Grandma) they’d better duck and cover because one of these times, I might actually make contact.

--Jeremy Beth Michaels is a Stand Up Comic, Writer, and Producer in Los Angeles